'APERSON I would love to have on the panel would be Roy Keane. He would create huge waves if he came on. You never know he might in the Europeans. We'll see.'

Who uttered these controversial words? Well it was none other than RTE'S most charismatic anchorman, Bill O'herlihy, when asked recently if he would like to see Keane join the punditry panel for future international football matches. Holy red mist descending over Montrose Batman!

The former Manchester United captain would be an interesting punditry-panel guest, not least if it finally flushed out how the public feels about the renowned maverick: the ghosts of Saipan don't need much to get them stirring. In fact, such is the potential of sparks flying that the actual football would probably end up taking a back seat. Roy versus Eamon - how could a goalless draw with Croatia compete?

Dunphy believes the addition of the Corkman to the panel would be a massive coup for RTE, even if he feels his former associate has become 'a bit of a rent-a-quote'.

Entertainment-wise, I can think of nothing better than an outspoken Roy perched between John and Eamon before during, and after Ireland's three, or more, summer games. You would probably get short odds on all three remaining in their seats by the time the team's postgroup destiny has been decided: no ceiling could be low enough to keep a permanent lid on those tempers.

The service rendered by Giles and Dunphy has been more than satisfactory and while eager pretenders to the thrones are lining up, few have convinced that they have the presence, and turn of phrase, to adequately replace our very own versions of Waldorf and Statler.

O'herlihy handpicks Richie Sadlier, a promising ball player himself before injury cut short his Millwall and Republic of Ireland career, as one to watch. He might be right.

Sadlier's analysis is sharp enough, he's articulate, but he's almost too perfect. Viewers love flawed characters, edgy souls, and box-office TV helps to keep them out of the pub.

Roy sat in on the ITV panel for the recent FA Cup thriller between Manchester United and City, and his lurking presence cast the usual shadow. Chiles, Southgate and Reid delivered every word with caution, nervy that one out-of-place noun could ignite the notoriously short fuse in the corner. Eamon and John wouldn't stand for that. Neither would Liam.

Love, hate or rest indifferent towards him, bringing Keane onto the panel would definitely boost the RTE ratings next summer, and thereafter. Rather than risk overkill, however, they should use him sparingly: a full month of him may breed contempt. Would he take up the challenge? Yes. It wouldn't be in his nature to turn such an opportunity down.

KEEPING AN EYE ON THE TIME

If there is one thing in this world that we have no choice to respect, it is time, a mysterious entity that man can never hope to control.

With that in mind, I sat the young lad down the other day to suss out how much he knows about the operations of a clock. I put it to him, 'When the small hand is at twelve and the big hand is at twelve, what time is it.' He answered, ' Twelve o'clock.' Then I asked, if the small hand is at six and the big hand is at twelve, then what time is it? He answered, 'Dinner-time.' Good man, I thought, lesson over.

'THE VOICE' - BRESSIE LOVE-IN

We sat down as a family to watch The Voice on Sunday evening and were amused by the recurring action where any successful female entrant, given a choice, opted to be mentored by Bressie. There was no shortage of hot flushes emanating from the screen, especially when he stood up to deliver another congratulatory hug. Aside from the Bressie love-in, the show was entertaining enough, though the running time asked too much of its audience.

We didn't stick with it for its entirety. Stripped bare, the only real difference between it and the run-ofthe-mill talent show was the swinging chairs, a novelty with a short lifespan.

It did prompt us to create our own game for the young lad, however, where he turned his back and had to guess which of his teddies was singing. Try it sometime: even better than the real thing.

- SHEA TOMKINS