DID YOU SEE the two unfortunate lads on the telly the other night, marching into the maw of the Dragons' Den? Farmers Mark Browne and Andrew Byrne went on to the programme to sell briquettes (of all things) to that fine bunch of business gurus. They made their pitch for ¤200,000 for their soon-to-be-launched fuel made from elephant grass. The Dragons were no way interested, of course.

Honestly, Mark looked about as comfortable as a camel with constipation, while Andrew appeared ready to batter the five of them with one of the briquettes which he waved about like a truncheon. Fortunately, the confrontation between barn door and boardroom did not descend into violence – but it must have been a quare close thing.

'It is not called the Dragons' Den for nothing,' commented Andrew after viewing his performance on the popular RTÉ series. Watching Thursday's episode clearly revived some unhappy memories of an experience that actually took place at a recording session as long ago as November: 'They kept us waiting for six hours – just to give us the jitters. Then the five sullen faces on them!'

At least the Brownswood landholder's background as a chorus member with the Enniscorthy musical society was some assistance in dealing with the situation. The blaze of lights awaiting the supplicants who come looking to the Dragons for investment is, after all, akin to walking out on stage. Caim's Mark Browne, however, was very definitely out of his comfort zone. To make matters worse, the uneasiness engendered at being half blinded by the unfamiliar illuminations was compounded by having to don a strange costume.

'I never dress in a suit,' he confessed the day after the broadcast, still uneasy at the notion that all of Wexford was tuned in to see him in his two-piece with matching tie. And three months after the recording session above the Yellow House pub in Rathfarnham, he remains haunted by what he saw seated before him once his eyes became accustomed to the glare of the lights.

'The faces! The Dragons would not smile at you. They would stare at you.' He and his partner in enterprise spent 45 minutes (later edited down to seven minutes for viewing by the nation) trying to break down the scowls of their imperious interrogators. At the end of the ordeal, they left without any new money and a stubborn feeling that they did not want any involvement in their venture from such a source anyway. So there!

But, if they were unhappy at their performance in front of the cameras, then others were not so critical. First one on the phone to their Wexgen office the next morning was delighted bank manager Marie Lyng. Their accountant rang in not long after, equally ecstatic. The line remained busy all day. Some callers wanted tips on how to grow elephant grass (more formally known as miscanthus) while others simply passed on their congratulations. One man rang in to offer the ¤ 200,000 that the stingy Dragons could not find it in their granite hearts to invest. Wexgen marketing advisor Laurene Dryden certainly had no qualms about the whole exercise: 'You could not pay for that sort of publicity,' she pointed out exultantly after the seven minutes of exposure on the country's most-watched channel. The squirm inducing unease induced by the recording aside, the two lads had to agree with her that it was the height of free advertising. The only pity was that the briquettes are not yet pouring off the production line at the former Atlas engineering plant on the Old Dublin Road in Kilcannon.

Other parts of the business plan are well in place. Thirty-five farmers-cum-investors have shares in the limited company. One thousand acres of County Wexford are now under miscanthus, a sort of giant species of woody grass. Confirmation has come through that their 'Greenflame' briquettes will not be subject to the imminent carbon tax that will affect rivals such as Bord na Móna peat alternative.

Granted the venture could use a few more growers as they seek to put two and a half thousand tonnes of their unusual threemetre-high crop annually through their factory. But the slogan, geared to an environmentally conscious world, is already in place – 'biomass briquettes – from farm to fireplace'. The propaganda is ready too – low ash, low spark, carbon neutral fuel made from locally harvested material. Pettitt's supermarkets and Wexford Farmers' Co-op are standing by for the first deliveries, due to take place at the end of the month.

Despite the unpleasant associations, the Wexgen fuel packs will probably be adorned with the words 'As Seen On Dragons' Den'. Andrew and Mark will just have to grind their teeth and bear it.

- david.medcalf@peoplenews.ie